Who I am, who I was. Who I will be. It hard wanting to do everything and nothing at the same time. All I know is that I gotta do something. Something. Half the time I wanna say fuck this school shit. But that's no good. Although I do wish I would have waited until I had a better idea of what I wanted to do first. Still not sure. This is so far from what I've ever wanted to do. But I do care about it. So... yeah. I'm really conflicting. But what's new. Life is so subjective. It's hard when you haven't even really figured out how to live, just making it up and going along with it. But who's to say that's not just what it is. I miss just looking out a window and thinking. It's like technology is wired into my veins. How long before I turn into a computer? There are so many different parts of one person...how can you expect to satisfy them all? Since when are exit signs green?? It's a conspiracy. I'm babbling and not really making any sense. My bad. But that's just kinda how I am...all the time. I'm thinking I need to start writing again. Doodling. Something. Keeping too much in my head is dangerous. I start drawings and then I never finish them and then when I do I don't like them. My mind's eye just can't focus. It knows what it wants but my hands just can't make it happy. And then when they're like show me what you really want everything's just blurry. Eww I have class in 10 mins. I wonder all the time what all this school shit is ever going to be directly applied in real life. I mean I see a few places now and again, and there's a couple times when I'm like oh yeah, didn't know that.. But it's just like building a little or just filling in little holes of what I already know. It seems like pointless. I forget 80% of it anyway. I need it for a couple weeks so I know it for a couple weeks, and then I dump it to make room for new stuff. I have a lot of email addresses. Lol. I'm so random. It started out all serious. Usually I can stay serious. Guess not today.